Remembering My Priorities

I feel like I am not always articulate, and I definitely don't feel like I put my thoughts to paper very well either.  It has never been a strength of mine.  That being said I had so many thoughts and emotions yesterday after an experience I had speaking to a family at church I felt like I needed to put that down on paper (ie electronic doc)

At Church this past Sunday an American Family walked in with 4 kids about the same age as our kids.  (Our kids were almost giddy to have English speaking children to talk to)  After the service we were able to find out their story.  They are a family from Utah USA.  The father served a mission in Spain 20 earlier and his work and their place in life made it possible for them to live in Spain and Travel Europe for a year. 

As we spoke to them it was easy to find the similarities between our relatively similar situations and it was easy to compare. And then at the same time it was also so easy to see how our views on what our purpose for being in the country was sooo very different. 

I will not lie, I had a moments of comparison that made me a little covetous.

During their time here they have visited England, France, Germany, and many other small countries around Europe.  They are homeschooling their children so that they can travel as much as they want. (homeschooling didn’t make me jealous I already know I never would want to home school)  But, they told us about how easy the Visa Process was for them (it has been a nightmare for us and it is not actually over yet)  They shared with us how they knew about many families that were taking a year to 6 months off of their lives to travel around Europe with their young children. (That thought made me feel yucky because I hate feeling like I am doing something just because everyone else is doing it)

Their kids were excited to tell us about how they went to Disney Land France and they had already been to Disney World in Florida and Disney land In California so they just wanted to go to China to go to that final Disney Theme Park they haven’t been to.  Their oldest child (11 yr old boy) complained about everyone speaking Spanish a few times, (Your in Spain Kid) but their daughter (10 year old girl) had a few years of Spanish Emersion Elementary so she spoke alright and felt comfortable with the language.

Like I said my natural instinct was to compare and at first glace it felt I was coming up short, which made me sad for a moment to think that somehow meeting these wonderful people was making me feel like our experience was diminished somehow because it didn’t seem to stack up to their.  Thankfully these thoughts lasted a very short time after I put our PURPOSE and EXPERIENCE into the right PERSPECTIVE. 

Comparison is the Thief of Joy!  For all I know there is someone out there following along with our family journey and feeling their life doesn’t stack up compared to what it looks like we are doing.  L. Tom Perry once said “You are not competing with anyone else. You are only competing with yourself to do the best with whatever you have received.

So I will take this time to remind myself about my own purpose for being here, the experience I feel we are getting, and the perspective I am coming from. 

First and foremost our purpose for being here in Spain is For Steven and his own Professional Development.  His entire professional life revolves around this language, culture, and relates to this country.  We are here for him.  While we have been here he works very hard to use his mornings to read and research, write and learn.  Every afternoon he works hard to be out among the people and learn from them and talk to them.  It is why we are here.  Our second purpose, which is a very nice bonus, is for our family.(having the children with us opens up conversations and connections that we would not have without them.  We want our children to have new and eye opening experiences and challenges that they could not get in the USA.  We want our children to learn Spanish, we want them to experience being the new kid in a different country where they didn’t know the culture and customs so that they can learn empathy for other that they will meet who are going through similar, probably harder circumstances,  which leads me to our Experience.

We truly are getting the experience we set out to get.  We wanted to experience true life in a different country.  See how their normal everyday life works and feels.  Experience how Spanish schools run and how they interact with people around them.  We wanted our children to struggle through the language and the culture and I am happy to report that they are doing wonderful.  Because of this experience my children will see the world and the people around them in a whole different way.  I think they will be kinder and more compassionate, more forgiving and understanding.  They have already talked about ways that they will change when they go back to school in the US.

Our perspective as a family has changed and I believe has changed for the better.  It helps to remind myself to keep the right perspective.  Making sure my children can say they have been to Disney Land is not on my priority list, but helping them become wonderful, caring, responsible, and faithful adults is at the top of my priority list.  I am not saying the other family we met is doing their trip wrong in any way I am just reminding myself that we really are doing what we set out to do and I need to keep that in perspective.

Miranda mentioned the other day that she feels like she will forever feel homesick because she feels a strong pull to our home in Iowa and knows that when we leave she will forever feel a strong pull to our home here in Spain.  She also told me how much she feels like she and her brothers have grown and changed.  I am so grateful for them and so grateful for this experience.

 "Compare ourselves to our past selves, not to others."

L Tom Perry